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Assessing the new "American Idol" judges
Now that American Idol's season 12 judges have officially been announced - Mariah Carey,
Keith Urban, and Nicki Minaj, joining Idol lifer Randy Jackson - the nation can finally
turn from wildly speculating over who will step into the judges' table to wildly speculating
over how much of the show's budget this season will be spent on wigs. Also: How will the
eighth, ninth, and tenth judges in the show's history fare when attempting to deliver
quippy criticism to wannabe singers who weren't alive when Carey's first through fifth
albums were released?
Who will be the "mean" one? The "nice" one? The "crazy" one? The "useless" one? Who's most
likely to spontaneously cry? To spontaneously dance? To provide thoughtful, constructive
feedback that is both honest and entertaining to hear? (It could happen!) We will have to
wait until January to see them all in action, but based on the judges' personas and Idol
history, here's our best assessment of Idol 4.0:
MARIAH CAREY
At first, Carey's place on the panel seems self-evident: She's in the J.Lo seat. Which is
to say, she's the beautiful diva superstar who will make great stank faces, occasionally
provide helpful-if-self-referential commentary, and otherwise play it safe while she waits
for her career to get a booster shot as tween girls learn who, in fact, she is. But there
have also been rumblings that Carey may not be super-duper nice, nor super-duper punctual,
which suggests she may emulate Idol's original center of gravity: Simon Cowell.
Prediction: At best, J.Lo's maternal warmth and beauty lighting matched with Simon's early
season truth-telling and pithy put downs. At worst, J.Lo's refusal to make eye contact with
the live audience matched with Simon's late season apathy.
KEITH URBAN
Unlike his fellow Idol newbies, the Aussie country singer has had at least a season's worth
of experience as a reality singing competition show judge, on the recently concluded first
season of the Australian version of The Voice. Urban earned rave reviews for his thoughtful,
kind presence on that show, and he certainly brings a studliness to Idol's judging table
that it's never really experienced before. But flanked by two outré pop divas, Urban's
comparatively low-key demeanor runs the risk of being swallowed up in a flurry of sparkles
and day-glo onesies.
Prediction: At best, a heretofore unprecedented level of coherent and appealing industry
know-how that also happily Twitterpates straight ladies and gay men. At worst, Kara
DioGuardi's ham-handed pointlessness with Ellen DeGeneres' pollyanna uselessness.
NICKI MINAJ
Let's not kid ourselves: Nicki was hired to be the love child of Paula Abdul and Steven
Tyler. At the very least, she will give Mariah a run for her money in the
can-you-believe-what-she-was-wearing?! department. But as my colleague James Hibberd has
already noted, Nicki's best contribution to Idol could be as an advocate for hip-hop and
rap artists, which Idol has all but ignored over 11 seasons.
Prediction: At best, Steven's wacky irreverence matched with Paula's occasional bouts of
daffy coherence. At worst, Steven's disinterest in saying anything of consequence matched
with Paula's inability to say anything lucid.
RANDY JACKSON
For a brief, shining moment, it looked like Randy had been retired to Idol mentor status,
but then Enrique Iglesias' flirtation with the judges' table proved to be just a tease, and
Randy's vise-like grasp on the show lasted for another season - aided, certainly, by the
fact that he's Mariah Carey's manager. The real tragedy of Randy Jackson is that, whenever
he's out of range of Idol's cameras and klieg lights, the man is capable of genuine,
expressive insights into the music business. Perhaps having his top client sitting three
chairs away from him will bring out something new in the dawg?
Prediction: At best, Mariah's presence raises Randy's game, and his vocabulary. At worst,
Mariah's presence means Randy will let her have all the best lines and insights, and he'll
be even more of a wind-up toy of yos, dawgs, and you did your things.
(Entertainment Weekly)
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