Mariah ripe for ribbing, at any price
Humorist Andy Borowitz wrote a satirical piece in 2002 about everyone's favorite diva, Mariah Carey. The highlights: In a controversial interrogation tactic that one prominent human rights organization says "borders on torture", CIA operatives in Afghanistan have been showing al Qaeda prisoners the Mariah Carey film Glitter. "There are things one does in times of war that one would not do in times of peace," Donald Rumsfeld said. "Making people watch a movie with Mariah Carey in it is one of those things."
That's an entirely cruel, utterly unnecessary and brutally unfair rip on Carey, who performs Monday at the St. Pete Times Forum. It's also mighty funny. And it's hard not to follow Borowitz's lead when it comes to Carey, because she just seems so, well, hateable.
Granted, Carey's enormous levels of success throughout the '90s aren't enough of a reason to hate her. But then there's the diva behavior, concert tickets that run up to $125, the short-lived marriage to her record label's president, the affiliation with Iraqi insurgents... Okay, I made that last one up. But it didn't seem all that out of place, did it?
For me, the Carey kicker is the song Heartbreaker, which you might remember as her previous hit Fantasy with, well, slightly different words. And Fantasy, of course, sampled the Tom Tom Club tune Genius of Love so heavily it was as much a cover as an original. But I'm going to try to cut Carey some slack. Among other things, it can't be easy growing up a mixture of so many ethnicities, including, one presumes, Martian.
And give Carey this: She certainly looks much younger than her 36 years, credited to a weirdo diet that mostly involves eating purple things, such as eggplant and plums and prunes. (Prince, watch your back.) True, while everyone else was relishing in Carey's infamous breakdown following the Glitter fiasco, all right, I was too.
So it's kind of nice that Carey's rebounded - her album The Emancipation of Mimi ripped up the charts, as did singles We Belong Together and Don't Forget About Us. And though Carey's not my cup of tea, she has a few songs I don't mind so much, like Always Be My Baby, and, okay, that's the only one. Does that make her worth $125 for a show? I don't know. But tickets start at $19.50, so you can make the call with your wallet.
Rick Gershman can be reached at rgershman@sptimes.com or 226-3431. His blog, the Ill Literate, is at www.sptimes.com/blogs/tampaarts. If you go, Mariah Carey performs at 7:30 p.m. Monday at the St. Pete Times Forum, downtown Tampa. Tickets are $19.50-$125. Call 287-8844. (St. Petersburg Times)
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