OK Magazine: Mariah Carey interview

Did your mother give you your stage name, Mariah?

I had a million nicknames. My mother named me Mariah because she didn't want anybody to be able to call me a nickname. My mother named me and said: "She's going to be a star."

So would you say your mother was the real diva in the house?

Yes. That's how I learned the word diva when most people probably didn't know what it meant. I know the word diva. The true diva.

Did she behave like one?

She worked very hard to support us after she got divorced. She could have gone further in her career as an opera singer but she encountered a lot of racism because of her marriage to my father. I think it's because that's how things were back then. She sacrificed having a family and focusing on that and that didn't really work out so well but I think she always visualised this for me.

You've said there was a time when you didn't feel pretty - that's hard to imagine!

It's difficult when you're different, when you're ethnically mixed as a person - my father is black and my mother is white and my father is part Spanish. It's a mix. Not everybody can relate to that. Now it's okay because I have professional people do my hair, but when I was a little kid, moving around 13 times with my mother, I didn't have much money.

Why aren't you complaining about getting older like most women?

I feel like the same person I was when I was 18. Every day I'm here on this earth I'm going to learn something, whether it's dressing up for two hours before you go on stage or just maybe I had a bad moment but I pulled it off. To me, you can't let the hurt turn to hate and bitterness, otherwise I would really not be in a good place. You can't go through hell and come out of it if you haven't felt a little bit of heaven.

Do you have any regrets?

I think one of my mistakes was getting married so young. I got married to Tommy Mottola under a lot of pressure. I don't know how you would describe my marriage. It was a kidnapping in a golden cage. I look at the past and I keep the good memories. There have been bad and good times.

Would you like to have children?

It's hard to have kids in this world. I don't think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but actually I haven't thought about it. For now I enjoy my dog Jack's company. Some of my friends shock me with their stories of sexcapades and I think it's funny. I say: "Be you, do what you want." And they laugh at me because they know I'm a prude.

Why do you think you're a prude?

It's definitely because of childhood traumatic stuff. The whole not wanting to have a baby as a baby. I never wanted to feel violated and I know that's kind of a weird thing to say but that's how I am.

You're a prude even though you wear some pretty raunchy outfits?

That is all for the show but when it comes down to it I'm very protective of myself. I feel that I should have known better but I was was young and naive. I should have been more able to say: "No. I'm not going to be pressured into doing something." To get out of that required an enormous amount of strength. I'm healed now but there will always be an defensiveness in me when I think someone is trying to be too controlling.

Is it true your legs are insured for a million dollars?

Yes. You gotta take care of yourself. How does it feel being a sex symbol?

I love it. I want to be lasciviously desired. Everyone likes to be loved. You have to try and stay pretty, you know.

You were going to go naked for Playboy but at the last minute you decided to pose in underwear and a bathing suit...

I have to admit that I didn't want to cause a scandal. A lot of my fans wouldn't have liked it if I posed nude and that's the reason. I pose for fun, not money.

Do you sing when you're home alone?

To really sing I'll have to go in the shower and lock the door and tell everybody to stay away. If I'm really going to belt it, it's loud. I need to warm up for just a few bars and then stop. Because of the unique structure of my voice I need two days off before I sing. It's strong but it's also very sensitive, like a baby. I drink a little concoction which is basically water with a tiny bit of apple juice, but I have to drink eight of them a night to get it back to the hydrated voice it needs to be.

You seem to live a pretty healthy life...

I guess. It's bizarrely healthy in some ways. I have to be overly aware of people holding the microphones. Singers who are tuned into that know that if someone touches your microphone you have to sterilise it. Or shaking hands. Some opera singers won't even leave their house unless they cover their face, because it's your instrument.

What's your favourite way to spend money?

When you're out in public, you're always working. You're at dinner and there's a little kid who comes up to you and asks for an autograph. You'd think their parents would tell them; "Not now, she's eating!" But they don't. I'm not going to be rude and hurt a little kid's feelings. When I go on vacation I spend money. I have a great time and go to an island an get a yacht. These things are expensive. I've spent my money on real estate, and jewellery becomes an investment too because if you buy big stones they become more valuable. You're talking to somebody who grew up with nothing.

Do you go to church very often?

I would like to go more but it's a trip to go out to Brooklyn and it's a very humble church. My pastor is just a regular guy who wants people to be there because they want to be there. It's across the street from the housing projects so most people would never expect me to go there. It's probably the most real I feel in my life when I get to go.

Are you at your happiest right now?

The only thing that's not easy at the moment is to do with my voice. My throat doctor lectures me about my vocal chords because they're very unique. The reason I can hit the high notes is that I have nodules. I don't want to have them removed because they create the sound. If I'm tired they're not as strong as they should be so I need constant hydration - water and sprays. I can't do a lot of the parties because of it.

(OK Magazine - Mariah Connection)