Single review: Mariah Carey's "Bye Bye"

Leave it to Mariah Carey to release the two weakest songs from her otherwise solid Energy Equals Mass Times the Velocity of Light Squared as the first two singles from the album. A sequel to "One Sweet Day" by way of every track produced by Stargate in the last 24 months, "Bye Bye" is the most treacly, cloying ballad the singer has recorded in years, a reluctant ode ("We will never say bye," she sings - and then proceeds to say it - incessantly) to the faithful departed.
If there were a popular boy band around, she would have brought them on board for some extra crossover insurance. (Hey, it's not too late for a remix featuring GLOWB - or better yet, NKOTB!) When every single creative decision is made to boost your stock, you're no longer an artist, you're a glorified commodity, and it's telling that of all the things Mariah wishes she could share with her late, long-estranged father, seeing her "back at #1" tops the list.
With a hook that consists solely of the song title repeated ad nauseam, "Bye Bye" exemplifies the worst aspect of the songwriting on the album: The usually eloquent Mariah panders to the demographic she's been courting since O.D.B. astutely equated her with a pacifier on the "Fantasy" remix by dumbing down her lyrics, referring to her "peoples" and reminiscing about "them times".
If possible, Mariah has made a music video even more affected and sentimental than the song itself. Intercut with pictures of lost loved ones (including pets), gratuitous shots of Mimi showing off her newly svelte bod (because even though she's sad, the strip-show must go on!), and an inexplicable storyline featuring her new husband, Nick Cannon, that will supposedly be continued in her next video are scenes of Mariah writing song lyrics in her notepad (which, if Glitter and the upcoming Tennessee are any indication, is apparently a script requirement for Mariah) that doesn't so much legitimize her as a songwriter in the viewers' eyes as it makes her look as if she has a compulsion for journaling. Not to mention looking off into the distance as she ostensibly composes music in her head. And wiping a nonexistent tear from her miraculously unstained face.

(Slant Magazine)

Saturday 17 May 2008
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Next album (45,631) by Mimi L. from

I don't think we'll need to wait long for the next album to drop. I have a strong feeling she'll release it next year to mark her 25th year in the business. It's a great opportunity and will give her the chance to quickly get people's mind off the disaster (that is Chanteuse) by ensuring the next one becomes a success. Although it seems like it's a... read more
(Monday 28 July 2014; 0:20)
Nick (45,630) by Darryle from Sagamihara, Japan

Why are people so quick to put Nick down? Yes he has made mistakes like talking about their sex life which is a no no but other than that there isn't any reason. In the booty video I don't think he chose Nicki Minaj to spite Mariah. He probably just thought "Who has the biggest butt?" It would've been cute had he said Mariah but not true. A brick w... read more
(Monday 28 July 2014; 0:14)
Touring (45,629) by this_is_qhm from the Philippines

A big reason why Madonna still manages to sell 2 million copies of her recent releases worldwide is because of her constant touring. Say what you want about the woman, but it's just admirable how she never tires of performing, especially at her age. She attacks every album promotion with such gusto as if it was her debut all over again. That's why ... read more
(Sunday 27 July 2014; 23:45)
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