Look at the weather, now look at Mariah Carey's boots
It's hard to dress for sub-zero conditions but still look glamorous. Especially when you're Mariah Carey and your taste in fashion stopped evolving some time in the early nineties. The jeans are just jeans. Not the most flattering of jeans, but basically unremarkable. The puffa jacket is, obviously, hideous but we appreciate that it's probably warm and cosy.
And then there are the boots. Cork platforms are for summer (or for never). Tassels should be handled with caution, unless you're a cowgirl, in which case go for it sista, yee-ha, etc. Towering stiletto heels are for nightclubs and brothels. And we're not sure if those are steel toecaps or peeptoes she's got going on at the ends of her poor aching tootsies, but they definitely, definitely shouldn't be there. Ever.
None of the above are meant for posing on a snowy Aspen street during a ski holiday. Seriously, we nearly tumbled to an icy death this morning and that was in slightly frosty south London and we were wearing a much more modest two inch heel. We know it's boring, but Mariah needs to get herself some Uggs or some wellies and concentrate less on trying to look tall, thin and happy and more on functioning like a normal human being, before she does herself an injury.
We just read that back and feel like someone's gran. Screw it, Mariah, keep on being as ridiculous as ever. In fact, tomorrow we'd like to see pictures of you standing at the top of a ski slope wearing nothing but those boots and a silver bikini. (3am)
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