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About Marissa from USA: I love MC but I don't pretend that everything she does is perfect.

Magazine article (74,927) by Marissa from USA Stumbled across one of my favorite magazine articles on Mariah. She is 10 times more candid in print than on camera. I get all types of juicy information that she normally wouldn't even utter. Do you all have a favorite magazine interview on Mariah? (Wednesday 3 May 2017; 10:52)

Re: Sleeping on matresses with 5 girls? (74,701) (74,705) by Marissa from USA My question is what would be her motivation to lie about growing up poor? That's not exactly something that people brag about, especially someone like Mariah who, in my opinion, has spent much of her life overcompensating for her poor upbringing by always needing everything she does and is surrounded with to be glamorous, opulent, classy (well, not lately but for most of her adult life) and expensive. Lying about some plastic surgery perhaps? Sure. Lying about her upbringing? What's the point? (Monday 24 April 2017; 02:39)

Codependent or friends? (74,583) by Marissa from USA Stumbled across this article and some of these "warning signs" reminded me of Stella and Mariah's relationship. Thoughts? (Thursday 20 April 2017; 08:32)

Re: Article: Meet Mariah Carey's maybe fake, definitely hot BF (74,193) (74,212) by Marissa from USA Never date a fan? Honestly I don't know anyone who isn't a fan of Mariah's music (maybe not her as a person, but Mariah's one of those artists where everyone loves at least 5 of her songs), so she'll always be forced to deal with that starstruck element. Even other people in the music industry are starstruck by her. (Thursday 6 April 2017; 19:48)

Re: AI producers (74,141) (74,145) by Marissa from USA Mariah made it clear from the beginning that her issue regarding the Nicki situation was about her being another female on the panel. It didn't matter if Nicki was a singer, composer, producer or rapper. Mariah wanted to be the only woman there. There could be as many men there as humanly possible, just not another woman. How no one sees this thought process as problematic is beyond me. Do you ever hear men saying, "I want to be the only man there or all bets are off"? Yes I think Nicki was wrong for completely coming unhinged on Mariah but I also think it wasn't fair for Mariah to be shady to her from the beginning just because she's a woman. When people say women are just as hard on other women as men are, this is the type of stuff they're talking about. Also, Simon and Randy were not singers and Paula could barely sing, so it's not like hiring Nicki was that much off the mark. The premise of the show was never about singers judging other singers. It was about people in the industry judging singers. If we're keeping it real Mariah was the first and last qualified person that they ever hired as a judge for AI. (Tuesday 4 April 2017; 23:17)

Re: The uselessness of trying to change someone (74,008) (74,015) by Marissa from USA It doesn't matter how legitimate anyone's plea for Mariah is. No one is listening. That's the bitter truth that no one wants to accept. No one is intimidated or moved by the rants, complaints, or scathing articles. There are three options: emotionally detach from what Mariah does, leave the fanbase or stay miserable. It comes down to the age old question: would you rather be right or happy? After years of begging, pleading and trying to negotiate with someone who isn't even listening to me, I'm finally ready to be happy. For me the best option is to emotionally detach (with love) from Mariah's actions for my own sanity. If any of you have ever had a loved one with addiction issues, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It doesn't mean that you don't care that they're out on a meth or cocaine binge. It means that you're letting their actions control whether or not you have peace of mind. I'm no longer living in fear of her next mistake or disaster. She's going to do what she wants to do. That doesn't mean I like it, it means that I'm no longer taking emotional responsibility for the consequences of her decisions. If people are that disturbed by her behavior then take action. Tired of unprepared vocals? Stop going to/tuning into her performances. Tired of boring music? Stop buying the albums. Tired of contrived storylines? Don't tune into Mariah's World. Thinks she has an arrogant attitude? Don't pay for a meet-n-greet. Hold her accountable through actions rather than being a martyr who's going to continue to give her money, likes and views but continuously complain when you're perpetuating the vicious cycle. If anyone is tired of their blood pressure skyrocketing in fear every time Mariah hits a stage, gives an interview, or posts a picture, join me in detaching because trying to control a person is not worth it. (Tuesday 28 March 2017; 21:00)

The uselessness of trying to change someone (74,001) by Marissa from USA I've been away from the board for a while and have been having a lot of spiritual awakenings lately, and it's made my idea of being a lamb change drastically. One thing that I and other lambs are guilty of doing is pushing Mariah to attain more accolades and success. I finally realized, what do these external achievements even matter? Mariah had nothing but multi-platinum albums, had the longest running #1 single in history and was considered a member of the vocal trinity but was still dragged after Glitter, her first real career mistake, as if she was the world's worst singer. Asking Mariah to keep making hits, get a better stylist, etc. for the gp to perceive her better is like a dog chasing its tail. The minute you screw up they don't remember anything good that you've done. I'll never forget when Mariah was performing at the Billboard Awards in 2015 and they had a clip of all of her huge achievements, and not even 40% of the audience gave her a standing ovation. No one cared. We are fans of the most successful female singer of all time and people still aren't content with what she's done, including myself at times. If that's not proof that telling her to do more/do better is not the answer, then I don't know what is. Don't get me wrong, just because I no longer feel the need to beg or get angry about her actions doesn't mean that I don't have preferences. I would prefer great lyricism and robust vocals, but I know that above all else I want her to get right spiritually, and I can't bully her into awakening. Like it or not, in actuality it's Mariah's career to prosper or destroy. We don't own her or her career. She didn't attach herself to us, we attached ourselves to her and decided to become fans, so it's our responsibility to either ride it out or move on. She's just living her life. If we choose to take the effects of that personally then that's our issue. Mainly I think we should go from urging Mariah to attain all of these worldly achievements that people only care about momentarily and instead hope that she gets in touch with her soul again. When that happens, all other things that we complain about will fall into place. I'm not saying pretend to be happy about everything she does. My only point is to give her the space to go through her confusion. Wish her the best instead of getting angry. Don't get offended by her actions but just see through them as to what the real issue is. Pray for her. She's lost. If she was really in her right mind do you think she would have been doing half of the shit she's done lately? Maybe if we put the energy into praying for her that we do into scolding her then a change might come about. This is not coming from some Pollyanna place. It's just the realization that supporting someone is about being compassionate, not angry. If you're feeling the latter then it's about possessiveness and seeing her as a means to an end (the key to your entertainment, happiness, etc) that has nothing to do with actually caring about her as a person. Ultimately, I'm choosing to care about Mariah, not her career. Her career will end at some point anyway. I just hope that she gets well. (Tuesday 28 March 2017; 08:54)

If the price is right: question for lambs (73,577) by Marissa from USA This question is inspired by Stella's omnipresence in Mariah's life, even in circumstances when she is not needed. Be honest, if you had the opportunity to make 10% of all of Mariah's earnings as her manager, would you agree to her codependent demands of having to follow her around everywhere and abandon the concept of having a life of your own or would you decline? If you could negotiate the codependent terms, how much of a presence would you be willing to be in Mariah's life? (Sunday 12 March 2017; 21:46)

Re: Mariah Carey's manager fires back (73,445) (73,450) by Marissa from USA To be honest, this clapback was actually pretty polite for Stella (not by the average person's standards), which says a lot about her typically off-the-wall behavior. I've given up hope that Mariah will ever get rid of her. First it was sad and frustrating watching Mariah let her manager make a mess out of her life and career, now I've busted out the popcorn and stopped caring. I refuse to care about anything more than Mariah does. It's a waste of my energy, as I have my own life to live. Also, we've basically seen the worst of the worst at this point. The nude Insta bathtub photos, contrived reality show and showing up to the club with lingerie was rock bottom. What's the point of me living in fear of anything else? My worst nightmares have already come true regarding Mariah. The only worse thing she could do at this point is put a close-up of her nether region on the 'gram. I'm tapped out and indifferent. (Wednesday 8 March 2017; 23:48)

Re: "No one wants albums anymore." Wrong, girl (73,339) (73,356) by Marissa from USA I feel like the "no one wants albums anymore" comment is a copout. Mariah is always the first one to say that true fans usually love the album cuts more than the hit singles, so how could she possibly believe that no one wants albums anymore? The bottom line is that she hasn't fully promoted an album since TEOM. You can't give mediocre effort to promotion, put out mediocre singles and then blame the public for not wanting your albums. MIAM didn't sell well because she lost a huge chunk of her fanbase due to frequent album pushbacks, weak singles, strange behavior, etc. If that same album would have been put out during a cohesive era it would have sold way more. What she should have said was "Having a successful album is no longer effortless and requires me to give my full energy to promotion and I don't want to do that, so I'm not making albums anymore." You really know Mariah has changed if she truly believes that albums aren't worth her effort anymore. Albums used to be her opportunity to pour her heart out and expose it to the world. I think MIAM was the last time Mariah felt comfortable being vulnerable. It seems like that era is over which is tragic for such a (formerly) deep and introspective writer like Mariah. I believe that as long as she's going the single route, we will not get that raw lyricism anymore. It will just be a bunch of "hip-pop" records, which is cool in moderation but I don't want to hear that only for the rest of Mariah's career. (Saturday 4 March 2017; 21:42)

Re: Article: Mariah dishes on new music, tour - and that performance (73,334) (73,354) by Marissa from USA I hate the reasons that lead up to Mariah feeling this way about Morgan, but you've gotta admit that "a friend of my mother's son" is about her coldest and funniest shade yet. (Saturday 4 March 2017; 21:28)

Re: Vocal changes (73,153) (73,164) by Marissa from USA Race-baiting as usual when it has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. How is Mariah smoking weed trying to fit into "hood culture" when we never heard about her doing anything weed related until she started hanging out with her 100% white team these past 2 years? I didn't see not one black person in any of those photos of Mariah at the weed dispensary. Nice try though. You have this nasty habit of blaming all of Mariah's mistakes on her being part black/associating with black people and thinking no one will call you out. Let's not forget that TEOM, one of her highest sold albums, was a complete R&B album, a genre created by the people you despise. I don't recall her suffering or her life falling into shambles then. Since you want to play the race game, should all of her booty selfies, weed smoking/edible eating, having a child run her social media, NYE disaster and subsequent blame game, showing up to lingerie at clubs, having a child serve her alcohol, cutting interviewers off to rant about old news, constantly wearing her engagement ring long after she's been dumped, etc. be blamed on white culture since those are the only people she's been surrounded by lately? Where were all of the depraved black rappers that you allude to when she was making those decisions? Two can play your boring little "one culture is responsible for all problems" game. (Sunday 26 February 2017; 21:04)

Vocal changes (73,141) by Marissa from USA I don't think she had surgery or anything of the sort. Everyone says 1997 was the year her vocals changed but let's not forget that was the year she started wildin', drinking and partying way more than when she was from '90-'96. Drinking + never getting any sleep + no discipline anymore = a waning voice. I may sound naive but I really believe her drinking and fast-paced lifestyle is what's deteriorated her voice the most. Let's not forget that when she was pregnant and unable to drink, her singing voice sounded damn near like the '90s again. (Saturday 25 February 2017; 22:57)

Re: Cut Mimi some slack (73,020) (73,036) by Marissa from USA Preach. If people don't see a problem with Mishka's behavior, please look up Drew Barrymore's story. She was doing cocaine and drinking heavily at 12 and exposed to life in the fast lane way too young, the same way Mishka is. Why is it so hard for people to let a child be innocent? Isn't that what childhood is for? They have the rest of their lives to be an adult and wild out. The average life expectancy for women is 81 years old, so if she lived that long she would literally have 63 years to be grown. With that being said, is there any logical reason to rush her adulthood? Please enlighten me. Your frontal lobe (the part of your brain that is responsible for self-control and decision making) isn't fully developed until you are 25 years old, so why keep trying to convince a 13 year old that she's grown when even science proves that she can't handle the shit that she's being exposed to? It's one thing to teach a kid practical skills needed for adulthood like balancing a checkbook or something, but you don't need to teach your kid how to serve alcohol or get drunk. All it's going to do is have her longing for her lost childhood when she grows up and she'll end up with the same Peter Pan complex that Mariah or Michael Jackson has/had. No matter what kids tell you now, in hindsight they almost always realize that discipline (and I'm not necessarily talking about physical discipline) is one of the most significant ways a parent shows that they love their children. All of the "cool parents" I've ever met or heard of in my life are the ones with kids losing their virginity at 12, doing hard drugs, dropping out of school, etc. I almost never hear about "cool parents" (aka parents who don't discipline their children whatsoever but instead want to be their buddies) with kids that fully have their heads on straight. Their kids are usually the ones with the most issues. Let's not forget, Mariah was raised by a "cool parent" that let her do whatever she wanted as well and now she is constantly chasing the childhood she never got to have. There will be enough people in the world who will willingly aid you in your self-destruction, no one needs that same kind of lackadaisical attitude from their parent. (Wednesday 22 February 2017; 20:40)

Re: Finally able to speak (72,906) (72,913) by Marissa from USA Also, it wouldn't hurt you to do your research before implying that I'm not a lamb. I just said her Kimmel performance was amazing, defended her when people called her performance boring, thought I Don't was a bop despite YG's rap, etc. Yet, I say something that isn't sunshine and rainbows in this moment and I'm now a goat. I'm both vocal about the things that I find positive and negative, so good luck figuring out what box to put me in. In fact, put me in a box called "grown woman who doesn't feel the need to bow down to anonymous people online, whether that means I'm perceived as a lamb or not". The "are you a fan?" bait is old. The textbook definition of a fan: "a person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular person or thing". Notice the word "or" in that sentence. Over the past couple of years I will admit my admiration has waxed and waned but my interest has never wavered, hence my 21 pages of messages on this website. (Monday 20 February 2017; 2:32)

Re: Finally able to speak (72,905) (72,906) (72,911) by Marissa from USA Definition of waning: "decrease in vigor, power, or extent; become weaker". According to this definition, Mariah's voice has waned. Even "positive lambs" will acknowledge that she doesn't sound the way she used to. That's called waning. That doesn't mean she's a bad singer. I just said 2 days ago that she sounded stellar at Jimmy Kimmel. Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston and Celine's voice have waned as well and they were all great artists. I refuse to see telling the truth as disrespect. People really need to start looking up the definitions of words before getting triggered by the smallest comments. Also, what I meant by "she doesn't have much to bring to the table anymore" is that her vocals are inconsistent. One day she will sound amazing, the next day I'm wondering what happened to her voice. That doesn't negate all of the positive contributions she's made in the past, but I'm talking about here and now. If your vocals are, I repeat, waning, adding a bad attitude as the cherry on top is not a smart move. Nowhere in my comment did I say that activism or rebellion is reserved for those people only. My point is that I don't think Mariah is willing to fully go down the road of "sticking it to the man" and while she may talk shit about different corporations from the comfort of her chaise lounge, I don't think she will ever give back her own Grammy's that she's received, protest or do anything significant besides sit and complain all the while still having the Grammy's that she talked trash about up for display in her house. I stand by my comment. (Monday 20 February 2017; 1:37)

Re: Finally able to speak (72,894) (72,905) by Marissa from USA Thank you. Believe me, despite how much Stella is gassing her up to be a rude a**hole, Mariah is not "bout that life". She is not some bold rebel ready to publicly smash her Grammy's and give up on being popular to take a stand. She's not Prince or Muhammad Ali who's willing to risk their whole careers to stand up to the powers that be. She's throwing a tantrum because she thinks it will get her cool points with certain vulgar and uncivilized members of her team. That's it and that's all. Looking at her behavior now, I really do believe that her being "eternally 12" is a lot more than just a joke, it's an accurate statement. I feel like I'm watching a middle schooler who's going through an identity crisis. If Mariah was retired I probably wouldn't care as much about her Grammy's comment because she truly wouldn't need anything from anyone at that point, but if she's still trying to get radio spins and chart-topping songs, it's not smart to diss such a major corporation. I'm not saying she needed to kiss their behinds but what happened to the gracious response of "no comment" or "I'd rather not speak on that for my own personal reasons"? That way you don't have to be fake but you don't have to be rude either. If I was a major music corporation I would not want to have Mariah associated with anything related to my brand. She and her childish team publicly play the blame game too much and she's not bringing much to the table anymore that's even worth the drama. Mariah may not need or want a Grammy anymore, but other music corporations are taking note of her behavior, and they aren't going to want anything to do with her if tantrums, vocals that may or may not show up and a psychotic manager are going to be a part of the deal. If this was 1994 with her crystal clear vocals then maybe more people would want to take a chance on her despite it all but when people are already over you due to inconsistent/waning vocals, you can't afford to be perceived as a b**** too. (Sunday 19 February 2017; 23:33)

Sudden hate for the Grammys (72,828) by Marissa from USA While I do believe that Mariah was definitely snubbed at the 1996 Grammys, especially considering what a smash and long-running hit One Sweet Day was, I think she came across as very rude and bitter. Her interrupting the interviewer with "do you really think I care about the Grammy's" comment before he could even finish his question as if that he follows her every move and should know her opinions on it was presumptuous and arrogant. I'm tired of these celebrities who allegedly hate awards shows, but will still submit their albums for consideration and will happily accept the awards when they do win. If she really hated the Grammy's she should have never submitted TEOM for consideration and she definitely shouldn't have accepted her awards. Stop throwing tantrums, formally boycott and give your Grammy's back if you're so outraged. Celebrities are always against stuff until they actually have to make a sacrifice. Then they're magically okay with everything. I don't understand why she came across as so angry now when she hasn't even made an album worthy of a win since TEOM. (Saturday 18 February 2017; 2:18)

Clarification (72,811) by Marissa from USA I just logged onto the website and realized that my original message blew up, but I just wanted to clarify that I'm not angry or offended about people thinking that this performance was boring, I simply felt that this "boring" performance was just Mariah being the Mariah she's always been. I think the difference in this performance was more noticeable because Mariah danced a lot more on the SSFT and in her Vegas residency, so I think we forgot that dancing is really not her M.O., and got spoiled by seeing her do it for a little while. I still personally do not care if she moves around a lot or not as long as the vocals are there. (Friday 17 February 2017; 23:01)

How is it boring when she's always done this? (72,777) by Marissa from USA You all do realize that Mariah's signature has been just standing there and singing since 1990 right? Why are we acting brand new? Mariah dancing or moving at all has always been a pretty rare occurrence throughout the years, and when she does it she can't really dance anyway, so who cares? People pay attention to Mariah for the voice and the voice only. Anything else is a bonus. I'm just glad that she sounded good. Twirling or twerking is not required in my opinion. (Friday 17 February 2017; 5:49)

Kimmel performance (72,752) by Marissa from USA She sounded stellar. I like this live version way better than the studio version, especially since YG didn't put on that fake southern-accent rap that he did on the track. I want this to go viral. Her good performances need to finally start getting attention instead of just the disasters. I hope she performs this song on more mainstream shows. Maybe Ellen or, as much as I can't stand her, Wendy? If she went on Wendy I definitely think that interview/performance would boost the song on the charts. (Thursday 16 February 2017; 19:37)

Re: Sad to say (72,651) (72,676) by Marissa from USA I agree with you. I don't understand why so many lambs are terrified of the idea of Mariah retiring. Even on her best day, any new material that she puts out is never going to be better than anything we've heard in the past. She has set the bar too high for herself lyrically and vocally in the past for it to get that much better anyway. I would rather Mariah be retired and adored than wearing out her welcome in the public eye and losing all of her integrity like she's doing now. She's put out 14 studio albums. For anyone to feel like that's not enough to the point that they'd rather have her sell her soul and lose her dignity in hopes of a new album that will be a 7/10 at best, that is just pure greed to me. When is enough, enough? (Tuesday 14 February 2017; 23:16)

Re: I don't see nothin' wrong (72,429) (72,441) by Marissa from USA Bruh, at what point is anyone going to acknowledge that Mariah has kids and that they are affected by her actions? Everything isn't just about what Mariah thinks is "fun" in the moment when she has children. The same way she said she didn't want to overexpose her kids on MW because "they didn't sign up for this", they didn't sign up to have photos like this, this, this exposed all over the internet for the rest of their lives. Also, there is nothing wrong with Mariah showing cleavage if it's tasteful. Here's some examples of showing skin done right and right. She has been showing cleavage her entire career, so if we were really people who believe that women should wear turtlenecks than we would have never been following her career in the first place. Even in the Mottola years she was showing cleavage, there was just barely anything there to show. The issue isn't her showing cleavage, it's her using it as a crutch, which is what makes it seem desperate rather than empowering. A few years ago, Mariah showing cleaving was a "moment" where we could still find plenty of others where she was more demure and still looked great. Now it's like almost every time she steps out her nipples are practically slapping us in the face and you have to go on a scavenger hunt to find a picture of her that doesn't look like she just walked out of a pornography shoot. I'd be embarrassed if people could find so many blatantly sexual photos of my mom, but Mariah is forcing them to deal with this stuff for the rest of their lives before they're at an age where they can either support or reject the idea of her rebranding herself as a stripper-esque. There's a huge difference between cleavage being a part of your evening gown and stepping out in public like this which is the true definition of trying too hard, whether you're 26 or 46. It's the "please validate me and tell me I'm sexy" attitude that accompanies her actions that people are tired of. (Thursday 9 February 2017; 19:15)

Re: Weird era (72,327) (72,352) by Marissa from USA The weirdest moment for me is definitely Mariah having grown men around her children so fast (without discussing with the father of her children, Nick confirmed this), especially since every man she's ever introduced her kids too, she seems like she's just having some emotionally detached fling with. (Even though she was engaged to James that still seemed like a disingenuous stunt that her kids didn't need to be a part of. If she really loved him she wouldn't have been cheating with Tanaka with the quickness.) Kids don't need to be brought into any situation where there is not true, genuine, we-will-both-be-there-for-each-other-when-we're-old-and-wrinkled love. If you just want someone to sleep and hang out with and stroke your ego then that's your prerogative, but kids don't need to be exposed to petty flings and get attached to men who are gonna be here today and gone tomorrow. Even if you think Mariah and Tanaka are cute, you have to be out of your mind if you think he's gonna be around to change Mariah's bedpan and clean her dentures when she's old. This is a fling and nothing more and therefore should be none of these kids' business. It's bad parenting and I'm not going to let the fact that she's Mariah Carey stop me from saying it. God forbid this happens to her kids, but having men around kids who haven't had their intentions thoroughly vetted has led to many children being sexually abused. This is serious and don't let the fact that she's a celebrity fool you or normalize this. As someone who claims she has been robbed of her own innocence so early, I'm angry that she sees nothing wrong with this situation, especially having young, vulnerable kids. If this bothers anyone that I'm calling it out then please find a local rose-colored "safe space" to hide in. (Wednesday 8 February 2017; 4:08)

Re: Article: Mariah works out wearing fishnets and stiletto heels (72,113) (72,128) by Marissa from USA Here's the dead giveaway that Mariah's team is encouraging her to broadcast these overly provocative stunts, all the while laughing at her behind closed doors: Have you noticed that no one in her traveling circus ever really wears any provocative clothes? They all dress pretty conservatively. I even have to give Stella her props that she dresses like a grown woman with kids. If dressing sexy is so fun and empowering, why isn't anyone else doing it besides Mariah? If it was really all the rage, then her whole crew would do it. Just because they are on the payroll doesn't mean that they don't ever look at Mariah's actions and find them laughable and ridiculous. Who's to say that they're not really laughing at her rather than with her and put her antics on social media for their own petty entertainment? It's not that far-fetched. Mariah has a hard time distinguishing between people laughing with her and laughing at her. We all know that she's run with "jokes" for years that 98% of people have officially declared unfunny. I don't believe that she's being manipulated anymore. I would put money on it that this workout outfit was Mariah's idea and they just let her run amok. She probably was being manipulated initially when they joined her team because their values were so different from the ones Mariah held for years, but now she's taking this stuff and running with it independently. I think a side effect of Mariah's unstable childhood is that she has no stable sense of self. She changes the way the wind blows. She becomes whoever she's around. I've noticed that since Stella's come on the scene she has no problem openly cursing way more, smoking weed (and going into a weed dispensary with a child for that matter), drinking at every opportunity and generally doing things that would've been completely out of character for her in the past. I also know that when Mariah is emotionally struggling, the telltale sign is that she starts acting like a complete weirdo. It's always been the way she cries for help. During the divorce, her weird "help me" antics were going everywhere (including the subway and playground) with ballgowns on, wearing fingerless gloves that didn't match her outfits and her legendary Jamaica performance when she was higher than a kite. We all know that she was also acting strange during the Glitter era and she's acting strange now. She's always been the type to create some alien-esque alternate universe to help her cope when she's struggling with an emotional problem. Sometimes it makes me wonder if she has a legitimate mental illness (I'm not trying to diagnose her, but it's not wrong or evil to have questions) or if this is a normal, albeit rare coping mechanism. As an outsider looking in, I think she feels nothing anymore, not happy, not sad, just numb and all of these nonsensical and disjointed antics are a reflection of someone who is going through the motions, no longer acting out of inspiration or motivation, but doing things just to do them. Her attitude to me is "f*** it, I've tried to do all of the right things and it ultimately hasn't worked out for me, why should I even bother anymore?" (Saturday 4 February 2017; 3:51)

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