Monday 28 January 2002

Woe is Mariah

After a public breakdown, a disastrous movie debut in "Glitter", and now, an aborted record deal, her diva status is definitely on the line. What can Carey do to recapture her glory? Should she go back to big, inspirational anthems like "Hero"? Should she get lost for a while like Celine? Or should she reinvent herself, a la Madonna?

Carey was dropped this week from an estimated $80 million, five-album deal with Virgin Records, a subsidiary of struggling EMI Records. The label will settle with her for $28 million. Poor dear. This caps a rough six months for the singer: She was hospitalized for an emotional breakdown in July; her movie "Glitter" had the drawing power of pocket lint; and the flop soundtrack was released Sept. 11, when people's minds were on death and rubble, not colorful sprinkles.

But there's still hope for the biggest-selling female artist of the 1990s. Here's what we recommend for the diva in distress:

1. Think Minnie Riperton, not Minnie Mouse: Your cartoonish persona is stealing the focus from your multi-octave voice. Your poignant performance on TV's "America: A Tribute to Heroes" shows the power you have when you just stick to singing.

2. Cool your hip-hop jets: We get it - you're a rap fan. But that doesn't mean you have to throw a rapper on every record. "Hero" was a fine single, even without a rap break from Lil' Bow Wow.

3. Nix the '80s samples: We're all nostalgic for hair mousse and Rubik's Cubes. But you've paid homage to the era on three singles - "Fantasy", "Heartbreaker" and "Loverboy." If we want vintage tunes, we'll turn on an oldies station. To get back to the Top 40, you need something fresh.

4. Put some clothes on: Those skimpy short-shorts, microminis and low-cut, midriff T's make Britney Spears look like she was styled by the Taliban. It was your voice that got you attention in the first place. It's your voice that will bring fans back.

5. Go away: Your body isn't the only thing that's overexposed. Let an awards show happen without you. Don't do interviews without new material to promote. Keep MTV out of your apartment. The episode of the music network's "Cribs", where you changed three times, took a bath and lounged in your "Mermaid Room", was priceless camp. But it's time to get serious. You can't engineer a comeback if you never even leave.

(Atlanta Journal Consitution)

Many thanks to Mariah Land.



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