AIWFCIY lyrics rewritten for feminists
For almost as long as I have been having Christmases, "All I Want For Christmas Is You" has been my favorite holiday song. All right, that's an exaggeration. In the first place, "All I Want for Christmas Is You" came out when I was 4 years old and, in the second place, I am pretty fond of New York's favorite Christmas song, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". However, Mariah Carey's Christmas classic has a special place in my holiday-lovin' heart - even though, well, it's just a little bit anti-feminist. Sorry, guys, but you know I have to be that person. And it's not like it's the only problematic Christmas song out there.
However, this article is not about those songs. This article is about "All I Want For Christmas Is You", and how it's a wee bit awkward to be singing that you don't want a single thing for yourself on this holiday but some dude. We should want more than a man for the holidays, ladies! And, even if we do want a man (which is perfectly okay), then he doesn't have to be the only thing that we want. You can have the presents underneath the Christmas tree and the guy of your dreams. It's 2014 and we're women. We can have whatever we want!
Maniacal inspiration aside, I decided to take the initiative and rewrite Carey's holiday hit to be a little bit more feminist. As I said, there's absolutely nothing wrong with preferring the original version of the song (or wanting a guy). It is, after all, a love song and it's far from the most problematic Christmas song out there. (I'm looking at you, "Baby It's Cold Outside".) However, if you're looking for a feminist alternative, or just love singing your own version of lyrics to popular holiday tunes, then this will be right up your alley. I call it "I've Got All I Want For Christmas".
I don't want a lot for Christmas
I have everything I need
I appreciate the presents
Other people gave to me
I just want to reach my goals
My ambition's not for show
I'll accomplish what I choose
I've got all I want for Christmas, it's true
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Everything I want, I'll earn it
My endless drive will light the way
There's a boy who's caught my eye
I wish he was here tonight
I admit that would be cool
But I've got all I want for Christmas, it's true
True, baby
Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm not going to keep on waiting
When I can do things on my own
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
Santa Clause is good for children
But I can't count on magic tricks
I'm the hero of my story
I'm the one who'll bring me glory
With or without you
I've got all I want for Christmas, it's true
True, baby
Oh, all the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa, I don't need your matchmaking skills tonight
I'm the only one who'll do this right
Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
But I do have one small wish
There's a special guy I'm wanting
And I'd love just one small kiss
Oh, I'll just grab some mistletoe
For a Christmas party at my home
If my wish doesn't come true
I've still got all I want for Christmas, it's true (Bustle)
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