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About Warrior Butterfly from USA: Hello MCA-ers! I have finally decided to join but have followed MCA since the late 1990s' I've known of Mariah since the MTV Unplugged era and became a lamb with butterfly in 1997.

Transcripted: The Oprah Conversation (96,207) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Using the Closed Captioning and listing to the interview. It went deeper with me. I started to type out few favorite sections which turned into the whole thing. This is great companion piece to the book. Intro Mariah: [Mariah Carey’s “Hero’] It’s great to see you. Oprah VO: In this episode of the Oprah conversation… Mariah: I have Never spoken about it, but … Oprah VO: One of the world’s most fascinating stars is answering this question: What is the meaning of Mariah Carey? Mariah: [Mariah Vocalizing] Oprah VO: For millions of fans around the globe, Mariah Carey’s music has been the soundtrack to our lives. [Clicking] [Mariah sings] Treated me kind Oprah VO: We first hear her voice first hitting high notes we never even knew existed in the number one hit “Vision of Love”. Mariah: [Mariah sings] All that you’ve given to me I had a vision of love Oprah VO: And then this young woman from Long Island kept accessioning higher and higher. Mariah: [Vocalizing] Oprah VO: Her other worldly talent lead to over 200 million albums sold. Mariah: [Mariah sings] Duh-duh-duh, duh Duh-duh-duh Oprah VO: Making one of the bestselling female artists of all time. Mariah: [Mariah sings] Baby come take me away Oprah VO: Mariah Carey is also the first artist in history to reach number on the Billboard 100 in each of the last four decades. Mariah: [Mariah sings] Baby [Vocalizing] Oprah VO: After graduating high school in 1987, Mariah immediately moved to Manhattan to purse her lifelong dream of singing. She worked as coat check girl before landing a gig as a backup singer for Brenda K. Starr, who introduced Mariah to then president of Sony Music, Tommy Mottola. He helped launch her career and would later come her first husband. Mariah: [Mariah sings] It’s just so sweet [singers] Sweet, sweet fantasy, baby When I close my eyes Oprah VO: Mariah now has a record 19 number one singles – that’s more than Elvis Presley y’all—and she’s close to tying The Beatles, who have just one more, with 20 Mariah: [Mariah sings] It’s a long road Oprah VO: Now, for the first time, Mariah is speaking her truth and putting rumors to rest in her new memoir. We talk about the real meaning behind the hit songs. Her famous marriages to Tommy Mottola and Nick Cannon, the unique pain of growing up biracial, and the lasting imprint her traumatic childhood has on her life. Mariah: [Mariah sings] Hey, and then a hero Comes along with the strength …   Interview begins Oprah Well, I have to say, it’s great to see you. Mariah Likewise, Oprah You look gorgeous Mariah You look so beautiful. Oprah And you’ve been staying at home. How are you and your family doing with all this? Mariah We’re doing as well as can be expected. You know what I mean? For the kids it was important that they had a summer, but they’re doing good. Oprah Well, that’s the most important thing, and we see from TikTok that you’ve keeping a lot of fun. Mariah TikTok Clips [Mariah’s kids sing] Me and Mariah Go back like babies With pacifiers [Mariah vocalizing while Monroe imitates] vocalization stops Monroe: “Mommy” Mariah: What? You said, “Do the high note.” Mariah Yes. Oprah And they’re enjoying it, and you’re enjoying, you know, entertaining them. Mariah I’m—I’m trying [laughs] Oprah You know, it’s hard for me to believe—as I started preparing for this interview, looking back of old tapes of us, I think this will be my—my tenth interview. I have, like, nine interviews over the years. Clips from previous appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show {Nov 12, 1997} [Mariah] I didn’t think we talked about things like that – on a show like this. [Oprah] No, but I mean, like—oh, big. Oh, okay [Mariah] [laughs] {Dec 3, 2002} And that’s what I did. I put everything I had gone through into the writing of these songs. {Dec 27, 1999} I didn’t look like one particular group or another. {Feb 14, 1992} Please welcome Mariah Carey. Interview continues And I first met you nearly 30 years ago… Mariah [Screams quietly] Oprah You were – you were 21 years old, your first appearance on The Oprah Show, and you know, I have to tell you, I could feel then, as could the audience, that you were destine not just for stardom, but for some kind of superstardom, and now that you’re in that league of legends that we know by just one name… [Feb 14, 1992] Thank you. Like Whitney, like Beyoncé, like Aretha, -and you’re-- Mariah Like… Oprah Almost Mariah Almost aspiring to somewhat be somewhere close in the vicinity of “like Oprah.” That’s—that’s the goal. Oprah Oh, thank you for that. Well thank you. So let’s talk about this book. Whoa. It’s called The Meaning of Mariah Carey and you can get it—it’s just a tap your finger on Apple Books right now, so by the time I finish the next paragraph, you could have it downloaded. I think you went all the way there. It’s –it’s heartbreaking, it’s vulnerable, but also very inspiring, I will say because it shows that you never, ever, ever gave up on yourself, and I’m telling you, I finished this, and I so-- The Meaning of Mariah is a really good title ‘cause I—I now really get you. I so understand so much. I understand that you know, out of those nine interviews—and often, I had the sense that there was something beneath the surface of the beautiful façade. Mariah Which I never felt was so beautiful, by the way. -I—[laughs] Oprah Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. That Too. We’ll get to that, but what I felt was a kind of—I don’t know, I couldn’t articulate it—a sadness or loneliness that you were not ready to reveal. I particularly felt that on a show that we were doing with your mother when we were talking about racial issues, but in your introduction, you say this: “I author this book, in large part, to finally emancipate that scared little girl inside of me. It’s time to give her a voice, to let her tell her story exactly as she experienced it.” So why now? Why was it finally time to do that? -To be emancipated? Mariah Well… to have held onto my inner child was really important to me ever since I was a child, and I realized, one day, when I grow up and I do what I’m dreaming of doing, which will happen, and I won’t be in these sad circumstances forever, but you know, one day, I’m going to—I’m just gonna remember what this feels like so I don’t turn into one of those people who has lost touch with the essence of who they are, but I really did in so many ways because of so many other outside components, so having the time to reflect on my life and to be able to explain things in a layered way that— with the complexities that there are has been really a motivating factor, and I’ve also—it’s been very therapeutic to do this, so I feel like it was supposed to be happening now at this time. That’s my view on most things that—because faith is so central to me-- Oprah Yeah, it’s happening -- Mariah Yeah, it’s happening because it’s happening and it is-- Oprah If it’s happening, it’s supposed to be happening. Mariah Yeah. Oprah So let me ask you this. Where you afraid of writing the book for long time because of what your family and other people would think? And is that what caused it to be such a long process to actually get it done? For a long time, were you afraid to say the things that you now are saying in this book? Mariah Well, he—yes, but it’s not because I was worried about what they would think. It’s because I would never have spoken a word about anybody in my life, and I tried to be very fair, but people have drawn first blood with me, historically. You know, as—I know you understand this—you know, when there are people that are, you know, in any way connected to you as a person that achieves a certain level of success, you are a target, you’re vulnerable bit I wouldn’t have gone here if this haven’t been done to me, if I hadn’t been dragged by certain people and treated as a ATM machine with a wig on. Like, it’s like, all it is, like. “let me get some money” And “let me get some money no matter what” Like, even if that means going to a tabloid, Which, we have discussed, they don’t even have any importance anymore, but you know, when they did, going there and saying, you know, “I—I want whatever x amount of thousands, and I’ll tell some salacious story about you know…” Oprah Yep, been there. Mariah -My-yeah. Oprah Been there. Been there. Mariah [sings] I know Oprah And it’s also sad when your own family is—you know, I’ve had my own family trying to sell me out for, you know, $10,000 when you’ve already provided them with thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, so I understand that. I wanted to say this. I think your fans— I think the lambs are gonna love this book because we discovered the origins of so many of your songs. So many written out of you—pain and chaos. And I will say this, that in all the years and the other interviews that I’ve done with you, I don’t think I’d ever heard you tell the story that you tell early on in the book… Mariah Mm-hmm Oprah It’s on page six actually. Of the little friend Maureen, who heard you sing and told you it sounds like… Mariah There’s music with your voice when you sing. Oprah Tell us that story. Mariah Mm-hmmm. Yeah, so we were walking down the street, and I—that’s why I still remember her name. That’s her real name and we were walking together, like, really—I don’t know second, first grade you know, really young, and just started singing, and she literally stopped and started at me and said, “when you sing it sounds like there is music with you when you sing.” And it was a wonderful moment that I’ll never forget. Oprah Yeah, well, you know, I love it when you say, “She said it like a proclamation.” She said “When you sing there are instruments with you. There’s music all around your voice.” And you write, “She said it like a proclamation, almost like prayer.” Mariah Almost like a prayer. Oprah “They say god speak through people and I’ll always be grateful for my little girlfriend speaking into my heart that day. She saw something special in me and gave it words, and I believed her. I believed my voice was made of instruments: pianos, strings, and flutes. I believed my voice could be music. I all I needed was someone to see and hear me. Mariah See and hear me. Oprah I think of that as just such a truly life-affirming moment, and it speaks to me how other people can be your angels and don’t even know it. Mariah That moment of someone outside of, like, my immediate circle being like—recognizing that there was something special about me singing struck a chord with me. Oprah And you know why I—why that moved me so, because it was just a stranger and it was a little girl, so it wasn’t somebody who was trying to get something from you, and you lived in a world where you could actually not be seen, which really makes me want to tear up that you lived—that a gorgeous girl like yourself, with a sweet hear like yourself, grew up in world in world, in family, where you could not be seen. And so for anybody outside to see you I know what that means, ‘cause I grew up that way too, so for me, it was, like, a teacher who saw me, and I remember the first time a teacher said to me, “You’re smart,” how much that meant to me, and I—why I loved school so much because that was the place where I felt valued. And for you, the place where you felt valued is being able to make music, and that’s why that Maureen would make such an impression, because if your in a world where you could not be seen, than anybody who sees you validates you. Right? Mariah Right. And to be seen and heard is, like, all of our—I think everybody’s need, especially now. It’s like everybody’s seen and everybody can be heard, with social media. Oprah Right. Mariah It’s such a different day. But back then, you really did need somebody to be that teacher that—that validated your existence, or for me, that’s how I always – I say, like, “something to validate my existence” because I literally—that’s why that chapter “Existence.” I literally didn’t feel like I was worthy of existing, and that’s something that’s a terrible thing to say, but it’s true, you know what I mean? Like, I hate saying that. Oprah I get it. But let me tell you-- Mariah Yeah. Oprah No, no, don’t hate saying it. You know what? The reason you didn’t feel like existing, it’s very clear here, in The Meaning of Mariah, because we learn in this book that your life was defined by trauma, and the reason why I feel that this memoir is so important is because the world looks at a person like you, who apparently has all the things—you have the looks, you have the homes, you have the money you have the fame—and they think, “Oh, that’s what makes you worthy. That’s what makes you valuable,” and yet, you prove in your writing of this memoir that it takes a lifetime of work to get to worthiness when you have been raised in trauma. And so I think understanding how traumatic your life was, the loneliness and sadness behind the façade that you carried for so long, I now understand it. Because the number one reason I—I now understand that people keep repeating past behaviors and behaving from their pain is because of the trauma. Mariah Yes. Oprah And so, what I’ve learned is when people are acting out, even kids early on, and people say, “What’s wrong with that kid? That kid is so misbehaved. Why they— That the real question people should be asking is, “What happened to that kid?” Mariah Yes. Oprah So it’s not what’s wrong with you. It’s happened to you. Mariah mm-hmm Oprah And so you lead us into the trauma that basically defined your life. Oprah VO Mariah’s father, Alfred Roy Carey, was of African American and Venezuelan decent and grew up in New York. Mariah’s mother Patricia is an Irish American from Illinois. Alfred and Patricia married in 1960. Alfred was an aeronautical engineer. Patricia was an opera singer and vocal coach. Together, they had three children: the youngest, Mariah, and her two older siblings, Alison and Morgan. Alfred and Patricia divorced when Mariah was just three years old. Oprah You grew up in a house where you’re constantly afraid, and you were able to figure out literally as a little kid sensed when the violence was coming, right? Mariah Yeah, that was a thing, and it’s described you know, through the kind of – the feeling of when it’s a storm that’s about to happen, and it’s weather, and it’s – you know what I mean? It’s a scary thing but you sense it, and you learn to navigate your behavior because of it. Oprah And when you’ve been traumatized your whole life, you—raised in a family of chaos, can you just sort of summarize you had a brother who would enrage and-- Mariah Extremely violent. Yes. Oprah And unpredictably so, so the thing when you’re living in an environment where you don’t know where it’s gonna come from. You’re always constantly walking on eggshells in a state of anxiety yourself. And a sister who—I don’t know, how would you describe your sister? Mariah I would say troubled, I would say traumatized, and I—I try to be thoughtful about that, although I don’t know that the same courtesy has been extended to me from anybody that [chuckles] Oprah Mm-hmm. Mariah That caused certain traumatic events in my life. Oprah But you write—but you write at length in The Meaning of Mariah about your brother and sister, and one of the things… Mariah Yes. Oprah that you say and there’s too much to try to cover here. That’s why there’s whole book. We’re not gonna get it in an interview. But I’ll read this short passage. You say. “through the years both my sister and brother have put me on the chopping block, sold lies to any gossip rag or trashy website that would buy and listen. They have attacked me for decades” you write, and you say “but when I twelve years old, my sister—” this was a story… “drugged me with Valium, offered me a pinky nail full of cocaine, inflicted me with third degree burns, and tried to sell me out to a pimp.” And now you know there was a lot of pain going on with them also. What do you think was the source of their pain? Mariah We don’t even really know each other, and that’s the thing—when they were out there and telling and selling stories, I’m like, “but you guys—” we didn’t grow up together, but we did. Like, they were on their journeys by the time I got into the world you know, they had already been damaged, in my opinion, but again, I wasn’t there. I was—I was dropped into this world, and I said, like, literally felt like an outsider amongst my own family because of the way that-- Oprah And resented you because of the color of your skin, right? Because they’re also biracial, but you were lighter, and they felt like you were passing? Mariah I think they definitely always felt like I was passing. We’re not even that far apart tonally. Like, that’s my thing. They just grew up with the experience of living with a black father and a white mother together as a family, and I was for the most part, living with my mother, which they saw as easier, but in reality it was not. To them it was easier, and I think you know, there’s many reasons why, but they have always though my life was easy. But they also always looked for a, I don’t know the name of it is, but it’s like a get-rich- quick scheme, or like, what can we do for today? Or like, the world owes me something. Oprah You know I’ve been having a lot of conversations on Apple TV+ about how racial inequality has impacted generation upon generation. My latest book club selection Caste by Isabel Wilkerson, reveals how oppression was purposefully woven into the laws and into our culture, and while I was reading The Meaning of Mariah, I was so struck by how you describe your father’s life and his struggle to find his place in the world. You actually use the word caste several times in the book, so I want to know, do you think his life experiences, even before you were born, had an impact on you? And if so, how? Mariah Well, I defiantly feel like my father felt like an outsider in many ways. That was sort of maybe where we didn’t connect early on, because I didn’t understand the strictness, I talk about that like when he – ‘cause it was almost military approach to life, and then we talk about his experience in the military, which is intense, and what, you know he revealed to me, we had a lot of discussions when he was on his deathbed, and that was a time when I felt I just wanted him to know like, however—anything we ever went through or our disconnect or whatever happened and who ever we want to blame that on, like, it was never his fault, and that was an important part for me. Oprah Well, when I read—when I read this Mariah when I read that your father, you know, is accused of raping a white woman Mariah A white woman, yeah. Oprah Yeah, I mean, Emmett Till and so many others are dead based—based upon that, and the fact that your father was freed and was able to go on with his life doesn’t mean he isn’t forever, forever Mariah Traumatized. Oprah Changed by that. And traumatized by that. Mariah Yeah. Oprah One of the more memorable stories for me is when you can remind me of how old you were you go to your father’s house with your new friend. Was this friend Becky? Mariah Mm-hmm, yes. Oprah And that’s her real-- Mariah Her real name was Becky. It’s her real name, yeah. Oprah Okay. That you had made this new friend Becky, and you’re having a play date, and your mother takes you both and drops you off at your father’s house. And now pick up the story from there. Tell us what happened when your white mother dropped the two of you off at your black father’s house. And Becky’s white too. Mariah Okay yes. Becky was beautiful strawberry blonde girl with freckles, and I though, “Oh, this is what little girls are supposed to look like I guess” So we get to my father’s house. Ny father comes to the door, and we both look up. My mother was lingering in the car, which was typical, but anyway, so we -- we get there, and he opens the door, and he’s like, “Hiya, Mariah,” which is how he always greeted me, and she [Becky] was frozen and stared at him with her jaw—her jaw dropped, and she burst into tears, and I realized, “Oh, my gosh. She is scared of my father.” And he’s also a very tall man, and to me, a very beautiful man, and—but in her eyes, I think whatever she heard in her house as child growing up in an all-white community and with parents that have their own views, she was scared when she saw my father, so my mother whisked her away back into the car, and me and my father just never talked about it. But it was such a defining moment for me in terms of, like, I am so different than everybody else around me for so many reasons. Oprah Wow. And then you had a harrowing moment. I couldn’t tell if you were in middle school or high school, when a group of girls.-- Mariah We were in junior high. Oprah You were verbally assaulted. In junior high Oh, junior high. The worst. Mariah Sorry. [laughing] Yeah, exactly. Oprah Isn’t it? Assaulted by a group of white girls in your class. Tell us about what happened then. Mariah One time, a group of girls, you know, happened to lure ne off into the middle of nowhere and then pounced and then chant. Oprah You were with your friend. They get you in a secluded space, and then one of them yells out “You are a …”and calls you the N word, and then they all start, one at a time, yelling that that’s what you are. I can’t even imagine how angry and devastated that would make you feel. First of all, you though these girls are your friend. They get you off to the side so that they can do that. They all have planned it, as you know mean girls do. They had all—they all knew that that’s what they were going to do ahead of time. Mariah Mm-hmmm. Oprah And how do you then walk out of the space with your head up? Mariah Well, I couldn’t because I had actually taken a long an hour or two-hour car ride with these girls up into a secluded area in this house in the middle of the Hamptons, and then it’s all-white living room there, and it’s all-white—and it’s a whole thing, and who there was nobody there to intervene. The adults didn’t intervene. You know if anything who know if they knew about it, I mean, I was—I was stuck there, and I just had to deal with it. I cried, and I sat there, and I internalized it for years and year and years, and I just—it was never about, “Let me tell this story from my past in an interview.” Why? How would it be relevant? You know what I mean? I had to get past that town, those girls, that moment. I had to get past it as a person. So it’s like… [sighs] This—this moment in history is so unique, but this is not new to us. You know what I mean? Oprah Absolutely. You know, success is always the best revenge. Isabel Wilkerson shared with me the other day, when we were interviewing her for Caste, that success is not only revenge. Success is the ultimate resistance, which—I love that. I never though of it that way before, that the success is the ultimate resistance. And later you tell the story of back to that girl’s house. Mariah Mm-hmm Oprah And pulling up and standing outside. This many years later when you are [sings] Mariah. And she is there and other people are coming out of that house, and she gets to see that the woman that she was calling the “N word” is now Mariah Carey. Mariah And also, I said , the “the mulatto bitch from down the street” is exactly hoe explained it, we don’t encourage anybody to say that word because we know that it stems from slavery and it’s not okay, but I said it in that moment because that’s how they viewed me, and so that’s how I viewed myself, and that’s horrible place to be, but writing about it hopefully helps someone else. Oprah I think a lot of people are going to be helped by what you’ve written, and you know what is interesting to me? As brown-skinned girl looking at you, growing up looking at women who look like you with long pretty hair, and envying that, and for you, your hair, the curly locks, the golden curly locks, was a bane of existence for you. It was a flaw in your identity for yourself. Mariah Yes, and on both sides of the spectrum, because it wasn’t that I don’t like my hair when it was behaving but as I [chuckling] grew up a bit, it went from baby hair to, like, matted, unruly hair that nobody was combing through or understand that you can’t have a little girl running around with mats in her head. My mother didn’t need conditioner or “cream rinse,” as we called it back then. Like, she didn’t need that. She had perfect hair, but I guess she didn’t understand how to handle it or what. So on both sides of the spectrum, I feel like I was hated on by certain people in my family for having the lighter hair. But then if they only realized, like, no, actually, I have, like matted hair, which is frizzy and curly, and like, it could look good if we had some conditioner. Oprah So your mother didn’t know what to do with it, and many times, she just let it go, and so you were one of those little girls walking around with your hair not combed. Mariah [laughs] And—right and then it’s like, “When are we gonna do something about this child’s hair?” Like I say when my father’s half-sitters went and tried to, you know… Oprah Use a straighten comb. Mariah Yes. And it was just not—it just didn’t work, and it burned off a piece of my hair. Then they realized—like, were like, “Sorry,” and it just didn’t happen that day. But at least they tried. Oprah What was your thought when Essence magazine had on the cover, “The Most Misunderstood Black Woman in America”? Mariah I actually felt like it was a huge compliment, because certainly at that time, I felt like it was very true and something people in the mainstream weren’t aware of, per se. Oprah There are a lot of people who didn’t even know you were black. -A lot of people- Mariah And this is so many years in. How many times can you just say it over and over? You know, we know that the one-drop rule existed, and we know why all these things exist, and it does stem from the caste system of, you know, when—of us as a people and the dilution and all the things that happened. Oprah Did you ever feel that you had to prove your Blackness? Mariah [chuckles] Uh, a few times. I’ve—look, that’s a thing that’s very specific for everybody, and feel like you’ve—yes. You’ve certainly had to deal with that. Oprah Yeah. Mariah And also I do get it. When we rise above our circumstances, it does crest a different layer of privilege, and I do get it that, like, lightness in some people’s mind is, such a—an attribute, but actually, it’s not what some people would think it is. In my situation, it’s just made me feel like an outcast. It just made me feel like I didn’t have a specific tribe to back me up, except for a few instances in my life where I did, and then that kind of became something that gave me strength Oprah You say that your mother was paradox. She exposed you to art, to beauty and culture, but you say she also neglected you and you write, “It’s taken me a lifetime,” you say, “To find the courage to confront the stark duality of my mother—the beauty and the beast that coexist in one person.” How would you describe the neglect? Mariah Well, I think it’s really a tough job to be a mother. So that said—because I know how I feel. I’m always, like, “Oh, no, if I don’t do this right, I don’t want their memory to be like, I didn’t do the best I could “ Like, I’m—I literally try to make their – my kids lives amazing, like how I would want things to be, but we all make mistakes. I would say the neglect was on serval levels. I always felt dirty. I didn’t feel put together. Leaving me with people that were not safe, and also being one of those people that wasn’t always safe for me either emotionally. Oprah The bottom line for me, as I was reading this, it struck me to the core because it was also true of my mother, and I know a lot of you are watching have had the same experience. You say your mother didn’t know you. Mariah Mm-hmm Oprah Your mother didn’t know you. And one of the saddest things—you know, my mother passed away a couple years ago, and I received a beautiful message from the writer Glennon Doyle when my mother passed, and she said, “Now that she’s gone, she can finally see who you were.” Mariah Wow. Oprah Now that she’s gone, she can finally see who you were. And I was reading this, I was thinking, I hope that it doesn’t take that for your mother to finally who you are. So what is your relationship like with her today? Do you still not feel seen? Mariah Yeah, I mean, it’s really difficult. I’ll always take care of her. You know, there’s been a huge role reversal in our relationship since the beginning, and since I first started, I’ve been that go to person, the matriarch for everyone. Even as, like, the youngest child in my family, so I know you can understand what I’m saying, but not everybody gets it. That’s a lot of pressure, because also with that, with the expectations came resentment as well, or envy, you know what I mean? It becomes like, “Well, she thinks she can have everything, but by the way, what can we get from her?” you know, like, it’s really a tough place to be, so my hope is that you know, she sees the essence of me as a good person and someone that’s tried, but we’ve been through a lot, and that’s why I describe that there is this duality. And by the way I’m not perfect. Nobody’s perfect, but in a relationship where you just want it to be a safe place… [sighs] It’s tough when it’s not always that. Oprah So I love what you write when you say, I don’t think many people could recognize the pressure.” You talk about this in the book. You say, “I don’t think many people could recognize the pressure to have so many people living off of you, counting on you, and pushing you to work and constantly work and work, to sing and smile, to dress up and twirl, fly and write and work and work. She had no concept of the humiliation I was suffering from the ravenous media monster feeding off of me. She couldn’t imagine how wounded and humiliation I felt. My mother never could acknowledge my fear. In fact, she often triggered it.” Mariah [Sighs] Because just going to a place that is so laden with guilt and just the layers of, like, you want that—you want unconditional love from someone in that position. You want—like, you make these-- Oprah You want to be seen. Mariah Yeah Oprah You want to be seen… Mariah And you want the-- Oprah For who you are. Mariah Yeah. Oprah Not for the ATM card. Mariah Not for the ATM card, and also not just like, am I here? Am I put together? Am I taking care of your needs? It’s like you want someone to say that to you sometimes. It’s taken me so long to stop apologizing for myself constantly, and it is a reoccurring thing, but I think that’s because I never felt seen or heard, and I never felt safe. That’s one thing—like when I started studying acting, like, learning to just even relax, just even relax the tension of being, like, in fight mode constantly. That just— it always just was. Oprah VO After signing a record-breaking 100 million dollar contract with Virgin Records and whirlwind tour to promote her first feature film, Glitter the pressures of success and the grueling pace of Mariah’s relentless schedule took its toll. Emotionally and physically exhausted, in July 2001, Mariah sought refuge at her mother’s house. After a confrontation, Mariah’s mother called 911, and police rook Mariah to a facility. Two months later, Glitter became a commercial and critical failure, the first of Mariah’s career. Oprah You know, the story that you tell when you were at your mother’s house, a home that you had bought for her Mariah Mm-hmm. Oprah And you were have an emotional crisis. Mariah Mm-hmm. Oprah You hadn’t slept in six days. Mariah Mm-humm. Oprah Everybody was pressuring you. I can’t remember if you were supposed to finish an album or do something in that moment. Mariah It was the Glitter— The whole Glitter Debacle. Oprah It was the Glitter—it was the whole Glitter thing. Mariah [laughs] Yeah. Oprah Okay. And so you’d gone to your mother’s house, and you are frantically washing the dishes and trying to do something to remove yourself from all the pressure, and your mother became upset with you and called the police. Can you describe that? I mean, is such a caste moment. I—I mean, it was such – your mother calls the police in a house that you have paid for. You’re Mariah Carey, and the police come in, and tell us what happened. Mariah The bottom line is, there was code switching that happened and a shift in—a power shift that was immediate. It was immediate, and she was in charge, and rather than say, “You know what? We’re okay. You know I’m here. I’m taking care of my daughter. She’s tired. You know, somebody called the cops by mistake” and whatever. It was, like, “Oh, no, because you defied me, /this is what’s going to happen.” Oprah And they took you off. The police took you, Mariah Carey. Mariah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I allowed myself to go Oprah In the backseat of the car. Mariah In the backseat of the car, I—it’s a vivid memory that I’ll never forget, and it’s—I never spoke about it, but I just think it’s important to say that at that moment, that seemed like a better alternative than where I was in that moment with her and with my ex-brother sitting on the floor in the “Irish room.” Oprah Yeah. So I know you’ve worked through I thought that was interesting ‘cause I’ve never had therapy. I’ve always—I’ve done all my therapy on the TV show with all the experts. Mariah [laughing] Right. Oprah And other people’s stories. But I though, “Oh, gee, if I’d’ve had a therapist,” like you, “I probably could have gotten to that separation of people who are using you a lot sooner. And you finally reached at point with your therapist where you no longer refer to your mother as “Mother.” You call her Patricia, and you refer to your bother as your ex-brother and your sister as your ex-sister. So in the book when you write that your family was trying to have you committed to a facility, you write that because you recognize what they were trying to do. Right? Mariah Right. Well, I recognized it afterwards because I realized I had no business being pressured that much. Nobody should ever have pressured anybody, but as we’ve seen in this entertainment industry, it happens, and it doesn’t happen to just one person. People push artist to the edge, and then they wonder why most people are gone too soon. You know? And then we had this culture of the paparazzi being like vultures, as we were talking about earlier, but it’s just indicative of my family. Sorry, but it’s indicative of the nature of kind of like, the beast. It’s like, “Oh, here’s a scam. Here’s a scheme.” You know, like, “Let make this happen in order to make unlimited money and resources for ourselves, rather than have her make this huge deal and be in control of it. Why not just, like, take it over?” Oprah Were you in breakdown mode at that time? Do you think that you needed to be, like, hospitalized? Were you in breakdown mode? Mariah No. If they had given me, like, even two days, I would have gotten up, gone to the video sheet and made the video. Now, that’s not to say that would have made the difference and Glitter would have been some huge sensation as opposed to what happened. Let’s not forget it was September 11, 2001. Oprah 9/11. Yeah. Mariah It’s 911 and it’s 9/11, and it’s a call that my mother made. And for the other little girls and little boys around the world who feel different, who don’t fit in, who are struggling and also still don’t lose their faith, don’t lose their connection to God because that’s the place that I’m coming from, you know? And it’s hard sometimes with all the stuff that happens. And I feel like with The Emancipation of Mimi, there was a reenergizing of just being centered spiritually and making that the top priority, and I don’t think many people understand why there’s such a need for me, but I think people who understand, understand, and that’s the most important thing. Oprah Let’s talk about your marriage. Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho. Mariah Which one, darling? Which—which one? [laughing] Oprah Darling, we gonna talk about the one. The marriage to former chairman and CEO of Sony Music, Tommy Mottola. Now, you met him when were 18 years old, and then six years later you were married. You were 24, and he was 44. Oprah VO In June 1993, it was the bridal photo seen around the world: Mariah Carey walking the aisle toward then president of Sony Music, Tommy Mottola. She wore a Princess Diana-inspired Vera Wang gown with a 10-foot veil and 27 foot-long train. Music icons Barbra Streisand, Billy Joel, and Bruce Springsteen attended the wedding, which was described as “over the top.” The couple built an opulent 22,000 square foot mansion in Upstate New York, but the seeming “fairytale romance” was short-lived. Amid reports of Mottola’s controlling behavior, the two separated in 1997 and divorced a year later. Oprah Why do you think you went through it, Mariah, when you write—in The meaning of Mariah, you write that your inner voice was telling you not to, so what made you ignore all of those feelings and go ahead and do it? Mariah Fear. A lot of it had to do with fear, because my—everything, from the beginning, I know when I made the decision to actually be involved in a relationship with him, even as a kid that I was, with nothing but a dream and ambition and faith and all of the things that we talk about issues, struggles, all those things I still could recognize that he totally believed in me and that he was the right—‘cause I had other places I could’ve gone for my first album. I had other people interested. Oprah Right. Mariah I believed in how much he believed in me, and I think I gave credit for that I tried to be generous with that but let’s face it. It was an extremely oppressive um, existence. It was something that nobody could really understand unless they were living it with mean so I’ve been—look it’s tough, and I hope he doesn’t hate the book, and I mean, I hope he doesn’t hate how he’s depicted or how I speak about him. Let’s phrase it that way. But the reason I got married was because there was pressure from him to get married. I never believed in marriage. I didn’t believe in the institution of marriage. I didn’t believe in it, but I thought he would lighten his grip on me. I thought he would relax, because it wouldn’t be like, “Oh, well, they.re having this illicit affair,” or whatever. Oprah Okay. You made the mistake that so many people make. You thought, “It’s bad now, but when we get married, when io become his ‘wife,’ things will get better.” Mariah Mm-hmm. Oprah When in-now you know, and I hope everybody listening to us knows, it only intensifies. Whatever it is before the marriage, it’s just going to have magnifying glass on it once you get married. Mariah Well, because it becomes legal for them kind of. For that person … Oprah Yeah. Mariah To kind of, you know, tell you what to do. Oprah Right. Mariah And dictate policy to you. Oprah So you write this on page 98. You say, “I was living my dream but could not leave my house. Lonely and trapped, I was held captive in that relationship. Captivity and control comes in many forms, cut the goal,” you say, “Is always the same: to break down the captive’s will, to kill notion of self-worth and erase the person’s memory of their own soul.” Nariah I would say I did feel like I was held captive in that relationship. Oprah Okay. Mariah I did feel like I was in my own prison, but again, when you asked me the question originally, why did I get married? And people said, “You know what? It’s going to change for the worse, not the better,” ‘cause it was already bad, but I thought if I could just get him to lighten up a little bit. Loosen up. Let me even go to a—for get a restaurant. Like, anywhere. Just anything. Even just, like, go to a nail salon with a friend. Like, it just wasn’t allowed. Talking to other people wasn’t allowed. Oprah Whoa, you were held captive and basically could not leave or make and choices on your own without his permission. And you were being watched in the house? That was my understanding, is that there were security guards and cameras everywhere, so anywhere you went, you were being monitored. You write about him sleeping and you getting up and leaving the bed just to go to a room privately to have some alone time with yourself and then hearing, in the middle of the night through the intercom, “Where are you? What are you doing? Where are you? What are you doing? “ Mariah Well, it’d be like this. Beep, beep. First you heard that. [chuckles] And then, “What are you doing?” And it just made the ha—like everything just—just back into, like, this stiff moment of being at attention like, okay, like… “What are you doing?” Like, do you think I’m doing? There’s not much I could be doing. I g—I’m getting a snack. No, but I really-- Oprah So honestly-okay. So, Mariah, tell us this—honestly, if you had wanted to go to a spa to get your nails done, you could not go. Mariah Mm-hmmm. No, it would be—there would be somebody there, um, watching for him. So whether it was acknowledged or not, that was always happening. So if there was “security,” it was someone that—he controlled everybody around me. Everybody was afraid of him. Everybody was afraid because he was so powerful at that time. No one in the industry is that powerful anymore. It just doesn’t exist. Oprah What was he afraid of? He was afraid you were going to… have an affair, was he afraid that you—what was he afraid of? Why did he feel like he had to control you? Mariah [Sighs] I just think that’s— It’s a power play obviously, and that’s dynamic that I really think is important to discuss, because as woman and as a female in this industry of music that we talk so much about—and being that he was, like, the top of the food chain in that world. Oprah Yeah, yeah, I—we all understand who he was. Mariah I don’t know who understands though, because to, I’m just explaining it because to me [scoffs] What was I supposed to do? I didn’t realize, “Oh, I’m contributing to this.” I’m paying for half of everything as well you know? I’m just existing as an artist, but I can’t do that fully because of this oppressive relationship. Oprah So what you write is accurate. I was just trying to give some context to it like You couldn’t go to the store, you couldn’t call your friend. So tell us about the night Jermaine Dupri and Da Brat came over. Mariah Okay. [laughs] Basically, Jermaine Dupri, Xscape, and Da Brat came to my house in Bedford, which I affectionally call Sing Sing in the book for many reasons. Sorry. [laughs] Oprah Mm-hmmm. Mariah I’ve been calling it Sing Sing. I didn’t just create this. This is what we called it. So we came to Sing Sing. And we were all basically like kids that just wanted to make music, and Da Brat and I escaped from the big house together—and that’s what it felt like—and she was in shock, as was Jermaine, to the degree that there was so much security and armed security and such a fear that, like, if I was off the grounds, it was like, “Where is she? What—” it just became a huge, huge thing. Oprah And so, you and Da Brat got in the car… Mariah So we got in the car. Oprah Get some French fries, mm-hmm. Mariah And we went to get some French fries. And the phone didn’t stop ringing the entire time. At first, we thought it was funny, and then Jermaine kept calling, and Jermaine was like, “Oh, you gotta get back here. Like, this not funny. There’s real—this is real. Like, you don’t understand-- Oprah There are security guys with guns, and loading they’re loading up… Mariah With guns. Oprah And they’re coming to find you. Mariah Yeah. He’s in the studio trying to, you know, start the beat and get going, and we literally were gonna go for five minutes, which was a huge deal for me to just go off the property without security—forget without security, but just with Da Brat and, like in that moment. I’m sure they were all like, “What is happening?” and I was used to living under that type od pressure and security and surveillance and all that, but they looked at me, and at the end of the day, Brat did really see me, and she did say, “This is not okay,” like, You’re Mariah Carey. I thought you could do whatever you want. Like, why—you can’t with this. Like, you can’t be in this relationship.” Oprah Didn’t you say that it’s not okay that your going to Burger King getting fries causes all of this… Mariah Yeah. Oh, she definitely said that, but it took her joy out of that moment too … Oprah Right. Mariah Because she’s watching it, you know, Jermaine—and we were all excited to film this video, and again, you can’t see when you’re watching the video. You can’t see what was actually going on behind the scenes, even though it was a “behind the scenes” video. But I will never forget that day and Brat tells the story, and Jermaine tells the story, and, um, we all laugh about it now because you have to laugh. You have to laugh as some of this stuff. It’s not that we laugh. We’re still kind of in amazement about it. It was foreign to them that this was my actual reality, you know what I mean? Like, it’s a huge house, it’s amazing, but it’s like prison. Oprah The thing that struck me that you wrote in the book regarding your marriage that, I think, to a great extent explains why you stayed so long is that you said, “I didn’t believe I was worthy of both happiness and success.” I wanna know, have you fundamentally changed that belief? With everything that has now happened to you, have you fundamentally ‘cause everything that you write in The Meaning of Mariah let’s us know that having your life, your early years defined by trauma, it takes the work of a lifetime to get over it most of the stuff that happed to you. And that belief system of not being seen, not being heard, not being valued, not being worthy—no amount of Grammy’s, awards, fanship can change that. So I wanna know, have you been changed to believe that you deserve both happiness and success? Mariah Have I been changed fully to believe that I’m worthy of… existing? Yes, I believe I’m worthy of existing now. But I actually didn’t believe that I was entitled to success and personal happiness because I assume nothing is ever perfect for anyone, so why should I be allowed-- Oprah Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Hold on, hold on, hold on, sis. So I didn’t ask you did you believe you were worthy of existing, I asked have you reached a point where you believe that you are worthy of both happiness and success? Existence-I’ll give you that. You are worthy of existence ‘cause you’re existing. The question really is, have fundamentally—after going through the excavation process for this book—have you reached a point where you believe that you are worthy of happiness and success? ‘cause you wrote that you weren’t at the time of that divorce. Mariah Well, it’s a constant struggle. It’s a constant battle, because when you—so much of who you are is based on the fact that you didn’t believe you’re worthy of these things. I’ve come to grips with it. I try to say that I am. What I’m trying to say is, yes, I’m at a place where I believe that I am worthy of success and happiness, and it’s a healthier place. But it’s easy for me to fall back into that feeling of, “well, I guess that just is what it is,” you know? Oprah Old patterns. I understand that so much. Before you divorced Tommy Mottola, you meet Yankee baseball player Derek Jeter, and you say he served a very high purpose in your life. This was of those situations of the right person at right place in the right time. What was it about it about Derek? He got his own song, too, right? He got his own song? Yep. Mariah He got his own song. He got a few songs. He was a catalyst that helped me get out of that relationship, because I believed that there was somebody else—it was the racial situation. His mom is Irish and his dad is Black, but he was very ambiguous-looking to me. I didn’t know who was he was. We met and I’ve written songs about it and honestly, I don’t think it was, like, “Oh, my gosh, he was the love of my li—” Like, at the time I did, because I didn’t think I would ever meet anybody who wouldn’t … what’s the word? I used the word and I just thought about this last night. Um…not look down on, but feel superior to me for—because of the fact that I’m not one way or another in most people’s minds. But he was a catalyst, and I think it was beautiful. And his family was a healthy family, and they changed my viewpoint that, oh, it’s because of the biracial situation that my family’s so screwed upas opposed to, uh, it’s them, you know? And, yes, those things did play a huge part in their dysfunction, but it was healthy for me to see a functional family that, you know, basically kind of looked like mine but didn’t feel like mine. Oprah Yeah. Mariah And he was also living his dream job and doing his dream job and stuff. You know, I believe we connected in that way. Oprah Yeah, and then that whole song “The Roof” was written about that moment on top of the roof. Mariah Mm-hmmm. Oprah In the rain. Yes Mariah [Mariah chuckling] in the rain is exactly what happened. Oprah Yeah, but that was first time—I mean, basically, the second time you’d ever really been with somebody. And the first time, based upon what I’m reading in the book, I’m reading the pages… Mariah Yes. Oprah And also reading between the lines. If I may say—this is just my opinion—you didn’t seem to be in love with Tommy Mottola. He didn’t cause you the kind of excitement and that, “Oh, my God, I can’t stop thinking about him,” feeling that Derek Jeter did. Would that be accurate to say that? Mariah That would be accurate to say. I will say there was an electric thing with Tommy in terms of I feel like I was supposed to meet him and the coincidences that are around that and his belief in me. Our thing was the music, and that’s what we connected on. Oprah All of it was destiny. All of it was destiny. Mariah Yeah. Sweet destiny, yes. Oprah Yeah, but the way you write about DJ in this book, it seems like that’s the first time Mariah [laughing] Oprah You had those kinds of feelings. Or was it because you had felt so, um held captive, so deprived, so unable to express yourself in your marriage that when her showed up, it was the right person doe the right time. Mariah That’s what I believe. That’s what I really believe. But it became such a thing for me. When I say he was a catalyst I really do mean that. Like, I really feel like if I hadn’t thought there’s a promise of something else out there that might be worth risking my actual safety to get out of this situation, that was the promise. And so whether or not it was totally fulfilled – no it wasn’t, and ultimately, it’s a blip in terms of the timeline, but it wasn’t in terms of the importance that it had on me as a woman. Oprah Yeah. Yeah. Mariah As a young woman. Oprah I think it also, you know, based upon what I took from that section about him is that it gave you hope for a new life in a way that you hadn’t imagined for yourself. That’s what I feel happened. Mariah That is what happened. Oprah Okay, that—okay, then I read it right. [Both laughing] Do you think you’re still feeling the impact of those years where you were held captive in that marriage? Are you still wrestling with the impact of that? Mariah Sometimes. You know, it was such a force. It was such a difficult thing to break through, and it was—the formative years for me as a woman and being in that situation, you know, had took its toll. So I think it affects the way that I deal with other people when I feel like there’s a control issue because I was so under someone else’s control for so long both artistically and personally that’s it’s just its own thing. It’s hard to lose that or to shake that. It’s just—like, I—you know, it’s a difficult thing to overcome. I feel like I’ve gotten there though. I don’t hold anger in my heart towards him. That’s real moment of my life that happened. Oprah VM In his 2013 memoir Hitmaker: The Man and His Music, tommy Mottola admitted that his relationship with Mariah was “Absolutely wrong and inappropriate.” He also wrote, “if it seemed like was controlling, let me apologize again. Was I obsessive? Yes. But that was also part of the reason for her success.” Oprah What do you really want, think about this question for a second what do you want him to know? Because there will be lots of talks about that time in your life and how you have expressed that in this book. And you just said to me a few moments ago, you had just said that, “I hope that he isn’t upset about the way that he’s depicted.” And then you said “Not depicted. About what I have to say about what happened.” You’re hoping that he isn’t gonna be upset. So what is it you really most want him to know about who you are now and why you’ve said what you said? So that answer can be out there in the world where people are not wondering what it is and they’re not trying to make a thing about it. Because I know that you said this, coming from a place of you’re telling your truth. And now that you’ve written it and now that it’s out in the world, what do you most want him to know and other people to know about that time for you? Mariah What I meant when I said I hope he isn’t upset about the way he’s depicted is just that in telling this story, I did talk about the reality of who that girl was that lived vicariously through the videos and had a very, very stifling home life. Although I was protected from a lot of other people by their fear of him, meaning my own family, I understand and appreciate the part he played in my story. But he has to understand and appreciate that I tolerated a lot. The song “Side Effects,” you can just read those ly—if someone want to read the lyrics—“I was girl, you were the man.” I was—you know, it’s like the way—“I kept my tears inside ‘cause I knew if I started, I’d keep crying for the rest of my life with you. I finally built up the strength to walk away. Don’t regret it, but still live with the side effects.” That’s it, and I feel like I’m entitled to tell my story, and I feel like I was kind enough as kind as possible to the people that or may not have been kind to me. So for him specifically? I forgive him. It’s the truth. I’m not the only one who knows this. You know? That’s the thing. There were witnesses to this. Oprah Mm-hmmm. Mariah And so this—to me, this shouldn’t be surprise. If anything, I don’t think I went in like some people would have. Oprah One of the greatest lessons that Maya Angelou taught me was that when people show who they are, believe them. And I was reading this book, I though, you didn’t get that memo from Maya because [laughs] maya had said to me when she first told me that lesson, “Baby, why do people have show you 29 times? When people show who they are the first time, believe them.” So it’s very difficult to reconcile with your family. I know that. And difficult to reconcile when your family is still dependent upon you, when your family is, you know, abusing you it’s difficult to reconcile all of that and to set a boundary for yourself. So you call them ex- brother and ex-sister, your mother Pat. Have you been able to set the boundary so you can live your life in peace? Mariah Yes. I have set the boundaries. There will always be—it will always be a work in progress emotionally for me particularly with my mother. I know it bothers her if I call her Pat. I don’t want to upset her or do anything like that. It’s my own way—I can’t go to an ice cream stand looking for hot dogs. Like, I have to know, like, here’s what you get from this person. And no, I didn’t get that memo from Queen Maya. Oprah Maya? Mariah But thank you for letting me be in that rear air and even being at that table and being able to be a part of that moment at the Legends Ball. I always see you. I see you every day because I look at the beautiful picture that you sent to all of us. Oprah Oh. That Legends event was one of the greatest events of my life, actually. Mariah I think that everybody that was there felt the same exact way and it’s such a full circle moment to be talking with about this. Because again it never leaves me. Like, I have the picture with Leontyne Price, and I mean, just the fact that you’ve given people so much. Oprah You met Leontyne Price… Mariah Yes. Oprah At the Legends Ball at my house. That was your first time meeting her right? Mariah Yes, it was. Oprah VO Leontyne Price is known as one of the greatest opera singers of all time. She was born and raised in Mississippi during the Jim Crow era became one of the first African American’s to be a lead performer at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City. Her soaring soprano voice has been heard in every major opera house around the world. Now she’s 93 years old, and Leontyne Price has won 14 Grammy awards over the course of her groundbreaking and illustrations career. Oprah Now when I think about it, that was in 2005. That was 15 years ago, so everybody 15 years ago, I had a Legends Ball at my house and invited all of the great legends who has been, you know, instrumental in being the bridge that I had been able to cross over on. Most people don’t even know this happened. So I had legends like Coretta Scott King and Maya Angelou and Tina Turner and Diana Ross—all of these African American women who had been such a great part of my growing up and watching and inspiring me. And then I invited all the young’uns… Mariah Mm-hmm. Oprah Such as yourself. Mariah [laughs] Oprah To come and help me salute them. And Leontyne Price, great, great opera sing, was there. You had that moment with her. Mariah Yes. Oprah And then she later I didn’t even know until reading the book that she then later wrote to you and-and said… Mariah Things that I could never even have imagined. I mean even discussing—not just from vocalist point of view, which, obviously she is most… world-renowned opera diva in history. And she’s made history. Oprah Uh-huh. Mariah And the fact that she even knew who I was amazing. And then I later found out she and my mother had the same vocal coach. I never knew that. And she remembered that, and in that moment, when we were at your Legends Ball, and we had—we really spent a good amount of time together. It was just such a wonderful thing. And then to have her write that thing where she’s talking about my compositions, and she really took the time to write it, and it was a full-circle moment. Oprah You wrote this in the book and this is what she wrote to you “In the difficult, demanding business of performing arts, you are the crown jewel of success. To achieve your level of Success as a multidimensional artist is an outstanding measure of your artistic talent. It was a pleasure to visit with you during the Legends Weekend and to tell you in person how much I admire you and your artistry. Your creativity and performances are superb. You present your compositions with a depth of feeling that is rarely, if ever, seen and heard. It is a jot to watch you turn all of the obstacles you faced into stepping-stones to success. Your devotion to your art and career are praiseworthy. This brings you a standing ovation and a and resound brava, brava, brava.” That is from the Leontyne Price. Oprah Amazing. Oprah VO In 2008, Mariah Carey shocked her fans when she announced she’d married her boyfriend of just six weeks actor and TV host Nick Cannon. The couple had a secret wedding ceremony in the Bahamas. They separated and filed for divorce in 2014, but they remain friends and are proud co-parents of their nine-year-old twins Moroccan and Monroe. Oprah And you swore to yourself you’d never marry again, and you never imagined being a mother, and then you meet Nick Cannon and all of that changed. What was it about him that made you consider—reconsider marriage and a family after everything you’d been through? Mariah You know it’s—that whirlwind, and that was whirlwind. And he was fun. It was fun. And I thought, oh, this could be cool, and I could open my mind to the prospect of having kids because it—it could be fun and it could be a beautiful experience, that I had never thought about it. Everything was career, career, career. And survive, you know? And I though, oh, here I’m gonna be in love with someone and there’s, like, the promise of me being happy and that, you know, I’ll be free, and then, you know, I can go about my life. But really, it’s not about looking to others, for me, what I’ve learned it’s really to be centered spiritually and emotionally just feel in charge and in control of who I am. But to your point, Nick and I got married quickly, it was, um, sweet moment, and we continue to co-parent u, we can’t be responsible for each other’s every move or every word but what I am responsible for is making sure that it’s a good environment when we’re all together and the kids will never be like, “I don’t know what my parents were lime together” we have fun, we laugh, we make sure they see that there’s a sense of family there they are the big picture me and Nick had a nice time and a cute romance and everything and that was great, but the truth be we can still play a mean game of Taboo or whatever together with the kids and have fun. There’s no animosity you know what I mean? And that’s the thing that I didn’t get to see my parents Oprah Um you know, often when you have had such trauma in your own life… Mariah Mm-hmm Oprah You get to make up for the childhood you didn’t have through your own children and you get to fulfill the love that you did not receive through the love that you’re able to give to your children. How have your children—have the twins—helped to heal you? Mariah They help to heal me every day every time we have a moment that feels real and authentic and genuine and it’s them loving me unconditionally. The only other time-- Oprah You finally got it. You finally got it. Mariah Yes, What I was gonna say is, one thing, though, that I feel has been a central it’s not a thing—my fans have been the only ones that I felt I got that unconditional love from, like, my diehard fans. And that’s why went from lambs to lambily to this whole thing where I was doing it even before social media like, I had this connection in a way that people feel like they know you. My fans really feel like they’re the only ones who’ve ever known me. I feel that way just by the fact that the children provide me with this actual love and they are my actual family and I’m not worried about them trying to hurt me or do any of the things that happened to me when I was a kid. I’ve never had reference for unconditional familial love until now Oprah So you know what I (Wednesday 14 October 2020; 18:48)

Re: Favorite non-successful song (93,533) (93,557) by Warrior Butterfly from USA 90 Mariah Carey = Alone In Love 91 Emotions = The Wind 92 MTV Unplugged = Vision of Love 93 Musicbox = Musicbox 94 Merry Christmas = God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen 95 Daydream = Long Ago 97 Butterfly = The Beautiful Ones (wish their was a Mariah solo version) 98 #1's = Whenever You Call with Brian McKnight 99 Rainbow = After Tonight 01 Glitter = If We 02 Charmbracelet = Subtle Invitation 05 TEOM = Secret Love 08 E=MC2 = I Stay In Love 09 MOAIA = Languishing (The Interlude) 10 MCIIY = O Come All Ye Faithful / Hallelujah Chorus 13 MIMTEC = Meteorite 18 Caution = Runaway (Friday 10 April 2020; 18:24)

Re: New album collabs (83,269) (83,274) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Lenny Kravitz, something in the vain of mean sleep. (Wednesday 1 August 2018; 07:20)

Re: "Lullaby" Can’t Go For That remix? (83,165) (83,172) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Could you send me a copy? twisted2words@yahoo.com (Thursday 19 July 2018; 20:02)

Merry Christmas cover hair tutorial (79,940) by Warrior Butterfly from USA For decades I have wondered what Mariah's 1994 hair style was for her album cover and I stumbled upon this video. (Sunday 17 December 2017; 18:39)

Re: BJW (79,270) (79,271) by Warrior Butterfly from USA The great D.J. Rogers told me, "Never let a hill of bad eclipses a mountain of good." I had great times with MC, seasons change. (Tuesday 7 November 2017; 19:43)

Pray for Las Vegas (78,613) by Warrior Butterfly from USA (Monday 2 October 2017; 10:38)

Re: Like the rest of us, she isn't (77,536) (77,537) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Well said Edward. (Friday 28 July 2017; 23:09)

Re: Mariah jams to bump in the car (77,028) (77,043) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Always My Baby (Reggae Soul Mix) or Fantasy (MC Mix) great base. (Tuesday 11 July 2017; 18:02)

Re: Wrapping up Vegas (76,941) (76,950) by Warrior Butterfly from USA I know what you mean. Closest I got to seeing her live was YouTube. Thank you to all the fabulous bootleggers. (Friday 7 July 2017; 17:50)

Wrapping up Vegas (76,940) by Warrior Butterfly from USA I hope Mariah follows Shania's lead and releases a DVD/CD of her residency. (Friday 7 July 2017; 02:39)

1990 microphone (76,915) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Anyone know what kind of microphone Mariah is holding. (Thursday 6 July 2017; 03:10)

Re: Help (76,905) (76,913) by Warrior Butterfly from USA The rise, fall and redemption of a superstar (Thursday 6 July 2017; 02:09)

Re: Lipsync for your life (76,785) (76,788) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Emotions remix with the gospel intro, high notes galore​. Mic drop. (Friday 30 June 2017; 17:27)

Re: Scans of magazines - help (76,754) (76,766) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Try the way back machine and look up Mariah Daily or Mariah Collection. I think it is what it is called. Good luck lamb. (Thursday 29 June 2017; 18:39)

Re: F1 Baku (76,647) (76,679) by Warrior Butterfly from USA You crack me up. (Monday 26 June 2017; 23:49)

Re: Celine / mixed feelings about Mariah (76,508) (76,513) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Simply put Celine owns herself; her age, where she is in life and her legacy. IMO I get the sense Ms. Carey feels robbed of her youth since in her mind she was never young. (Thursday 22 June 2017; 00:24)

Re: Who would you pick (76,309) (76,310) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Marilyn Manson or Nine Inch Nails. (Wednesday 14 June 2017; 17:14)

Re: 27 years today debut album (76,257) (76,260) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Love Takes Time and Vanishing. I personally think that Vanishing would have been a great debut single. (Monday 12 June 2017; 23:24)

Happy Radio (76,254) by Warrior Butterfly from USA For about two weeks now Mariah has been getting radio play from a old school hip station where I live. The most spun tracks are Someday and Emotions. (Monday 12 June 2017; 17:56)

Re: Question Archives family (76,175) (76,182) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Mariah will roll her eyes. Emotions as a whole was a good balance of modern and classic jazzy vibe such as CLG, AYDR, IIO, SB and TBAY. I know the first four are ballads but the control of vocal power, lastly TBAY, she sounded like she was having fun cutting that one, since she included studio chatter. I always wondered what they were talking about. (Saturday 10 June 2017; 00:28)

Re: Artists you love that may surprise others (75,967) (75,988) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Bessie Smith Al Jolson Bruno Mars Layryn Hill Stabbing​ westward King Krule Der en gray The piano guys Lindsey Sterling Jack off Jill Justin Bieber (and no not sorry) Scott Joplin Marilyn Manson​ Selena Shania Twain Snoop Dogg (I refuse to acknowledge Snoop Lion) Ira and George Gershwin Vince Guaraldi Carlos Gardel Shanghai Restoration Project Fiona Apple Garth Brooks (Saturday 3 June 2017; 01:23)

Never Forget You (75,666) by Warrior Butterfly from USA "No, I'll never forget you I'll never let you out of my heart" RIP Martyn (Wednesday 24 May 2017; 19:48)

Martyn and Manchester (75,601) by Warrior Butterfly from USA Thoughts and prayers with all effected by this tragedy, please be safe Martin. (Tuesday 23 May 2017; 20:00)

Re: Ages? (75,313) (75,344) by Warrior Butterfly from USA 34 and proud. (Friday 19 May 2017; 00:00)

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